“He’s been in a car accident you say Jacquie?”
“He’s asleep in his room? At 2 o’clock in the afternoon?”
“It must be the shock, Jacquie. Don’t be too hard on him when he wakes up. You know how sensitive our boy is.”
“Sorry, I’m not understanding Jacquie. Slow down.”
“Yes, I’m still here. Talk to me Jacquie.”
“You noticed he was breathing funny and you went in to try to wake him. But you couldn’t.”
“And then you saw the bottle of pills at his bedside, so you called 000.”
“He’s having cardiac arrests and may not get through the night. Shit Jacquie, we’re losing our son!”
“Mom, I’ve got some terrible news. Carl’s been in an accident. Jacquie phoned me. He’s in the Royal Prince Alfred. They’re saying he might not live the night. They’ve called in the social worker. I’m going to try to get a flight out of Adelaide.”
“My twenty year old son has been in a car accident, they’re not sure if he’ll survive the night. Do you have any flights leaving for Sydney tonight?”
“QF 748. I’ve got that now, QF 748.”
“Leaving at 7:55pm. Yeah I’ve got it.”
“On my credit card. I’m sorry, just a second, it’s here somewhere.”
“I’m in a caravan park, 45 minutes’ drive from the airport.”
“Oh! That would be amazing if you could hold the flight for me.”
“A police escort? I’ll let you know but I should be fine.”
“Thanks for waiting, I hope I didn’t hold up the flight too long.”
“No food for me thanks.”
” Thank you, I appreciate it, there’s nothing else I need right now.”
“Jacquie, I’ve landed in Sydney. I’m in a cab right now. How is he?”
“They’re still working on him?”
“Hi Freddy, thanks for calling.”
“We haven’t been able to see him yet, he’s undergoing emergency resuscitation. They’ve set aside a room and a social worker for us.”
“Yeah, I have plenty of support. My sister is here with her husband, my parents are here, also our friend Karen and her two boys, Jacquie and Krista.”
“The moment I walked into that room, the moment I saw their faces looking up towards me – I felt calm, I felt everything was going to be alright.”
“No, I can’t explain it either.”
“It’s not good, Mom. The doctor says its touch and go as to whether Carl will survive the night. They say his vital signs are bad and that he had a number of cardiac arrests.”
“Well, Dad, the underlying issue is his brain. They did a bunch of neurological tests but he hasn’t shown any response at all.”
“They can tell from the bruises on his legs that he was lying still for at least eight hours before he was brought to hospital. They say this means his brain wasn’t working during those eight hours, that his brain cells were deprived of oxygen for all that time.”
“They say he will most probably have severe brain damage as a result.”
“I’m sorry Mom. I’m so sorry.”
“You should go home and try to get some sleep. The nurses are bringing pillows and blankets for me and Jacquie and Krista.”
“Mom, he made it through the night.”
“But his brain is still not responding.”
“Also, he has pneumonia. They say it’s from throwing up and ingesting fluid into his lungs while he was immobile in the house. The X-rays show white stains all over his chest.”
“He has a very low oxygen level in his blood, his heartrate is still dangerously high and he’s running a temperature over 39 degrees.”
“The doctor is with me now. She says his urine output is low and that there is evidence of liver damage.”
“The pneumonia is very aggressive. But they still say the main problem is that his brain is not working.”
“Okay, Mom and Dad, see you when you get here.”
“Thanks for bringing in fruit from your garden Mom.”
“The Head Doctor for the ICU came over earlier. He says if someone is going to recover from brain hypoxia, they recover quickly, within 48 hours. Because Carl is young, they’re going to give him an extra 24 hours.”
“Even if he recovers consciousness within this time, he says Carl will have brain damage for the rest of his life.”
“Yeah, there are cases where people come out of a coma after months, or even years. But the doctor says that kind of recovery only occurs for traumatic injury, like a blow to the head. He says hypoxia is different. Even if Carl comes out of his coma, he will be severely brain-damaged for the rest of his life.”
“Yeah, like a vegetable. They say the brain cells die from lack of oxygen.”
“Hey Carl, I know you’re still there and I want you to know how much you are loved. We’re inviting your friends to come in and take turns chatting with you. Hope you don’t mind.”
“Once you’re out of here, you can start planning that trip you’ve always wanted to do. That one across Russia via the Trans-Siberian railway. You said you want to do it in winter so that you can see Lake Baikal all frozen over.”
“I saw the Phalaenopsis and Cattleya flowering inside your little orchid house. You remember the Cymbidium you gave me? It’s doing well, it’s ready for re-potting actually.”
“I’m going to stroke your arm, just so you can feel my presence, hope that’s okay.”
“Now I’m going to stroke your eyelids. I’m hoping they will open soon.”
“Ah, here’s Mark and Grace. And Kat has arrived too. They also want to talk with you.”
“I have some great news for you, Carl.”
“The pneumonia on your right lung has gone from 65% down to 20%.”
“The shadowing on your left lung is down to just 5%. It’s good to see your body fighting back. God, you’re strong! “
“Your friends are here to see you today. The hospital staff said you can see two at a time.”
“Hey, good to see you Mark! They’re don’t normally allow flowers. But the nurse made an exception for the rose petals. They’re beautiful. Let’s see what happens when we rub the petals under his nose.”
“Did you see that? His nostrils definitely flared. Just for a moment.”
“I’m glad you saw it too. Otherwise I might have thought I was imagining it.”
“That’s the first sign of any response from Carl. They’ve been doing tests every three hours for the last four days without seeing anything.”
“You can hear me Carl. I see your nostrils twitching when I talk. Well, that doesn’t surprise me. I’ve known from the very beginning that you’re listening.”
“You’ll be glad to know that your vital signs are a lot better. Your heartrate is mostly back to normal. Your blood oxygen level is 88% normal. The pneumonia has mostly gone.”
“You liked the smell of the rose petals. One day you’ll have your own garden full of roses and orchids. You’ll be skiing in Japan. You’ll be visiting Paris in the spring. You’ll be taking the Chunnel to London to tour the British Isles and you’ll be watching the golden eagles soar above the Scottish heath.”
“Hey Mark, they’re taking him for a CT scan this afternoon. Then an EEG tomorrow to measure the electrical activity.”
“Yeah, I hope so too.”
“You’re the Head Neurologist of this hospital. You’re saying that the EEG shows extensive hypoxia damage and no detectable electrical activity in Carl’s brain, that there have been no neurological reactions over the past 96 hours and that he’s in the worst category of brain damage.”
“Well, I have a question. Why do his nostrils twitch when I talk with him?”
“So you think Carl is progressing towards a persistent vegetative state. You think the primitive parts of his brain are gradually taking over because of the absence of any higher mental activity. You’re telling me that this reptilian part of his brain will do things like jerk his limbs about and twitch his nostrils and roll his eyes, but that there is no hope of him ever having higher mental function.”
“In that case, what choice do we have?”
“If Carl was your son, what would you do?”
“Krista, the Head Neurologist says they can’t keep him in the ICU forever. They need to disconnect him from the machines and relocate him to a general ward.”
“Here’s the choice. If he has a tracheostomy, then breathing through the hole in his throat will stop him choking on saliva or his tongue. He could live for a long time. But he would be in a persistent vegetative state, with no higher mental function. He would need a lot of help in his day-to-day living.”
“The alternative is that they don’t do the tracheostomy and let nature take its course.”
“So as his sister you have already discussed this kind of situation with him, Krista, and both of you agreed you would want to be allowed to die in that situation. The Head Neurologist agrees with you, he says that if Carl was his son, he would let him die.”
“But I don’t agree.”
“First, I don’t agree that his higher mind is gone. I think he is still in there somewhere, he just needs more time to recover.”
“Second, I work from home and I could look after him, even if he comes back brain-damaged. I would see hints of the old Carl every now and again. That would be enough for me.”
“Our first discussion was a stalemate, Freddy. I want Carl to have the tracheostomy even if this means he lives a life without any higher mental capacities. But no-one else agrees. They want to let him die.”
“After the second family meeting, Jacquie told me she would kill herself if Carl lived a life like a vegetable. That he wouldn’t have wanted it, and that she wouldn’t be able to take it.”
“That’s when I caved in and agreed. I don’t want a second tragedy added to the first.”
“That’s right, I’ve agreed to no tracheostomy and letting nature take its course.”
“Of course it’s hard. It’s fucking hard.”
“Tomorrow. They’re removing support and moving him out of ICU and into his own little room. They’re going to remove the feeding tube too. He’ll be getting liquids only. It’s just a matter of time then.”
“You’ve got to come back now Carl. There’s no more time. Wake up, Carl, please wake up, come on Carl, you can do it. Show these doctors what you’re made of!”
“Come on Carl. Please do it – for me, for Jacquie, for Krista, for all your friends that love you so much.”
“You have to do it now Carl. There’s no more time. Please come back now.”
“Hey Carl, we’re going to listen to some music together. Here, let me put this earpiece into your ear and I’ll put the other one in mine.”
“Let’s start with Bach. Do you know that his music only clicked with me when I was driving around Australia? I was between Winton and Mount Isa listening to the Goldberg Variations and all of a sudden it was like I was connected to God. We’ll start with his BWV 1004. Joshua Bell said it is not only one of the greatest pieces of music ever written, but one of the greatest achievements of any man in history.”
“If anyone can reach you, it’s Bach.”
“Wake up, Carl, please wake up!”
“You have to come back now, Carl, you’ve been here eight days, there’s no time left anymore. They’re disconnecting you from the machines today.”
“We love you; we love you so much, please come back!”
“Hi Laura, so good to see you. Thanks so much for flying over.”
“Yes, this is his room.”
“He was moved from the ICU yesterday.”
“It’s been nine days so far.”
“He’ll be so happy to hear your voice!”
“Oh my, look at that. He lifted his head a bit! He even moved his arm! Did you see that?”
“Maybe disconnecting all the machines and removing all the tubes has actually helped him.”
“Maybe he feels human again, like he is Carl again, no longer an accessory to the machines.”
“God, I hope so!”
” Yeah, it’s day ten now, come and visit Colin, I look forward to seeing you.”
“There, on the opposite slope, a little higher up the valley, stood Crome, his destination. He put on his brakes; this view of Crome was pleasant to linger over. The facade with its three projecting towers rose precipitously from among the dark trees of the garden. The house basked in full sunlight; the old brick rosily glowed. How ripe and rich it was, how superbly mellow!”
“Are you listening Carl? I’m reading from a book by Aldous Huxley. It’s called Crome Yellow. You are listening, I see you’re moving your leg.”
“And at the same time, how austere! The hill was becoming steeper and steeper; he was gaining speed in spite of his brakes. He loosed his grip of the levers, and in a moment was rushing headlong down. Five minutes later he was passing through the gate of the great courtyard. The front door stood hospitably open. He left his bicycle leaning against the wall and walked in. He would take them by surprise.”
“Hello Colin, come on in. Jacquie’s not here, she’s gone out for a coffee.”
“Hey, look Colin, Carl’s smiling at you!”
“Now he’s looking at me, he’s trying to say something.”
“See how his lips are moving?”
“What did you say Carl, did you say paper?”
“Jacquie, you’re back! Carl has started talking!”
“Did you hear that, he said vater. And now mutter!”
“He says we’re misunderstanding the German!”
“Hahaha, you say you know as much as you did before, but not so well expressed!”
“Carl, the only person that’s done better than you coming back from the dead, is Jesus himself – I’m going to find a doctor, they’re not going to believe this!”
“Hi Freddy, yeah Carl came back after ten days of apparent brain death. Which is way beyond the normal cut-off of 48 hours or 72 hours at the very outside.”
“No, they don’t understand it. They don’t know how they got it so wrong. They’re having a special conference to discuss it.”
“Yes, they said we could go upstairs and discuss getting financial compensation for their mistake.”
“But listen Freddy, it’s Carl’s fault that he ended up in hospital. And caring for him has already cost the state hundreds of thousands of dollars. So we’re not going to pursue any financial compensation, we’re just grateful to get him back. He needs a week or two of rehab, but they expect him to make a full recovery.”
“I think having his senses continually stimulated by friends and family, helped him stay with us. I think our love made the Universe create some combination of circumstance to bring him back to us.”
“Do you remember when I had just arrived in the hospital, when I suddenly felt calm and knew everything was going to be alright?”
“It just goes to show, doctors don’t know as much as they think they do. Let’s face it, science knows nothing about human consciousness.”
“I’m flying back to Adelaide to pick up my camper. I left it there when I got the emergency flight to Sydney for Carl. This will be the end of my trip around Australia. I’ve swum with the whales sharks off Ningaloo and surfed Cactus, I’ve seen the domes of Purnululu and Kata Tjuta and been to the rock, I’ve seen the paintings of Ubirr, I’ve camped in the Daintree and in the desert. Hey, I’ve been everywhere, man.”
“The trip has been good for me, Freddy. I’ve dropped all the labels like father, worker, manager, husband, provider, white male, introvert, heterosexual, rationalist.”
“It’s like I’ve finally realised who I truly am.”
“Yeah, you’re right, it’s not only Carl who has regained consciousness.”